Real Hope for Hopeless Marriages in the New Year

January — not too many people’s favorite month. Oh sure, there’s January 1; full of optimism and determination to make this new year better than the last. But those hopeful feelings usually peter out after a week. After that, the routine of everyday life is lived in a bleak world where even nature struggles to survive. In northern climes, the cold weather shuts people up in manmade spaces, and even city dwellers can start to feel a bit claustrophobic. Even those of us who like the cold and snowy weather begin to tire of it by January. Added to this is the emotional let-down that often occurs after the Christmas holidays, along with the stress of having once again overspent last month and confronting the bills.

For married couples struggling in their relationship, January can be overwhelming. The brief closeness and cheer of the Thanksgiving-Christmastide didn’t last; the post-holiday blues are often unbearably depressing. Or perhaps a miserable spouse saw no hope for their marriage before and had decided to end it, but stuck with it a few more weeks so the holidays wouldn’t be ruined for the children. It’s no wonder that those involved in the family court system have come to call January “Divorce Month.”

For couples struggling in their marriage, it’s easy to believe that no one can possibly understand the pain and despair they’re experiencing. Also common is the belief that there is no way to heal the gulf between them, and the only way out is divorce — after all, that’s what everyone in the world seems to say. However, both those beliefs are dead wrong! Throughout the United States, Canada and 25 other countries around the world, there are tens of thousands of couples who have been to the brink of divorce, but found a better way and have stronger, richer marriages as a result. Many of these couples feel such gratitude to God for having helped them that they have formed communities to help other couples still wallowing in despair.

The name of this ministry, which was begun in 1977 in Quebec Province, is “Retrouvaille” — a French word that is pronounced rĕ-tru-vi, (long i). There is no precise word-to-word translation into English, but it has the meaning “to find something precious again; to find oneself again; or, to find each other again.” It can be translated best into one word as “Rediscovery.” That’s what it does — helps husbands and wives rediscover each other and why they fell in love.

No month needs to be a divorce month. If you’re hurting in your marriage, go to Help Our Marriage online, or call 800.470.2230 for information about the local program (you may remain anonymous).