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I saw the pale blue book on the side table in the confessional room at my parish. It’s a pleasant, snug, well-lit room. I’ve received so much grace and mercy there throughout the years that just being in it inspires peace and gratitude in me. After dropping my daughter off at her Sunday morning faith formation class at our parish, I often like to take some time to pray before Mass. Since there are no confessions scheduled at this time, and since the “joyful noise” of the choir rehearsing fills the sanctuary, I often slip into the confessional for quiet time to pray by myself. The book lies there so invitingly, and I love to read, so, week by week, I’ve found myself dipping into different chapters during my quiet time. I am now convinced that this book should be left in every parish’s confessional, and I heartily recommend it for wide reading among Catholics in the pews.
This little book is called Delivered: True Stories of Men and Women Who Turned from Porn to Purity. A Catholic speaker and podcast host, I already knew the editor, Matt Fradd, as a contributor to the website IntegrityRestored.com, which offers information resources to clergy, parents, spouses and users of pornography to help them find healing and freedom from this toxic substance. Matt Fradd has also authored The Porn Myth: Exposing the Fantasy behind the Reality of Pornography.
The personal testimonies of men and women in this book whose lives were bound up with porn use are gripping. A popular Catholic female recording artist recounts how she became addicted as a teen and later found freedom and healing in Christ. She shared her story with teen girls during her years as a youth minister. So many teen girls who heard her speak had thought they were “the only ones” with a similar secret. Several men also share their stories of addiction to pornography and the sin of masturbation, their destructive histories of womanizing and their life-changing encounters with grace that led them on the path to sexual integrity.
Even for those who do not struggle with the same sins, these recovery stories are practical and encouraging examples that holiness is possible, no matter what the deep-rooted pattern of sin is in someone’s life. The reader could substitute their own particular cycles of sin and addiction — selfishness, food addictions, gossiping, pride, laziness — and find that many elements in the path these men took will work for sanctification and healing in other areas as well. The men’s steps included staying close to the sacraments, counseling, accountability and mentoring and consistent, repeated effort.
A woman who had left the porn industry wrote one of the most dramatic chapters. Anyone who claims that “porn doesn’t hurt anyone” must read her description of the trauma that occurs on set — the physical and mental exhaustion and injuries; the callous, rough treatment; and the drugging and numbing on set that women self-induce in order to get through scenes.
Catholic therapist Dr. Peter Kleponis contributed a chapter describing his personal path of becoming a counselor in this field and his own reasons for avoiding porn use.
He also outlined essential components of a good program of recovery:
1. Complete honesty with self and others
2. Support and accountability
3. Individual counseling and marital counseling (look for a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist)
4. A strong spiritual lifeHis website offers an excellent round-up of articles, books, support groups and counselor databases supporting porn recovery.
This epidemic, the “new drug” of pornography, affects men, women and children. It’s harming the Church, poisoning celibate and married vocations alike. We all need to educate ourselves about the reality of this plague, and reading Delivered makes an excellent start. Coming frequently to the confessional to receive the mercy, grace and peace Christ offers is another key step to purity.